I was on my evening walk along with my husband, when we saw a small balloon on the passage. We looked around and saw a little child being carried away in arms by her nanny accompanied by another lady that looked like her grandmom. We both assumed that the balloon belonged to that child and started following them, so we could handover the balloon and bring a smile on the child’s face.
Guess what happened when we handed the balloon to him:
“ Looking at the balloon the child started howling and crying”!
We were confused! Did we do anything wrong?
Well, we assumed that the child wanted the balloon and the balloon will give happiness to the child. But actually that child had thrown the balloon himself as he was scared. Few moments prior, one balloon had blasted unexpectedly making the child scared. So when he looked at the balloon again, he started crying.
The point I pondered on….with such a positive intent, we ended up creating unwanted agony and pain for the child.
Broadly looking at life, most of the times we assume things that result in confusion, anger, hard feelings, differences and what not….and to top it all of it is unintentional. When things are not communicated clearly, we tend to assume things and react and respond accordingly. Most of the times these assumptions are incorrect and cause more agony than pleasure to the receiver.
Before closing let me share a few common assumptions we make quite often:
- He does not respond to my calls, he’s avoiding me! (The actual scenario is that he is waiting for something good to happen, to revert with a positive result)
- She looks angry, must have fought with her hubby! (She is actually angry with the person who is assuming these thoughts and is unaware 😉 )
- Give him feed, he must be hungry! (This is what a feeding mother of an infant listens to every time the baby cries 😄 100% guarantee…)
Especially when you are at the receiving end of these uncalled for assumptions, please be sure that you are clear in the signals that you are sending alongwith the words that you communicate because, assumptions are mostly based on non-verbal means. Watch out for your mannerisms and body language too.
And if you are at the giving end, can I request you my friend, to be more sensitive towards your receivers going forward and be more alert and vigilant about their requirements and needs, as much as possible. This will help you create more happiness and positivity around you!
You may also like to read my earlier blog Perceptions are seldom right!
To conclude: It’s not possible that we can know the facts in every situation but whenever we can, let us try to open the channels of communication, so it is more about understanding and responding rather than assuming and reacting, what say?