When you don’t tell me, “I assume”!

I was on my evening walk along with my husband, when we saw a small balloon on the passage. We looked around and saw a little child being carried away in arms by her nanny accompanied by another lady that looked like her grandmom. We both assumed that the balloon belonged to that child and started following them, so we could handover the balloon and bring a smile on the childโ€™s face.

Guess what happened when we handed the balloon to him:

โ€œ Looking at the balloon the child started howling and cryingโ€!

We were confused! Did we do anything wrong?

Well, we assumed that the child wanted the balloon and the balloon will give happiness to the child. But actually that child had thrown the balloon himself as he was scared. Few moments prior, one balloon had blasted unexpectedly making the child scared. So when he looked at the balloon again, he started crying.

The point I pondered on….with such a positive intent, we ended up creating unwanted agony and pain for the child.

Broadly looking at life, most of the times we assume things that result in confusion, anger, hard feelings, differences and what not….and to top it all of it is unintentional. When things are not communicated clearly, we tend to assume things and react and respond accordingly. Most of the times these assumptions are incorrect and cause more agony than pleasure to the receiver.

Before closing let me share a few common assumptions we make quite often:

  • He does not respond to my calls, heโ€™s avoiding me! (The actual scenario is that he is waiting for something good to happen, to revert with a positive result)
  • She looks angry, must have fought with her hubby! (She is actually angry with the person who is assuming these thoughts and is unaware ๐Ÿ˜‰ )
  • Give him feed, he must be hungry! (This is what a feeding mother of an infant listens to every time the baby cries ๐Ÿ˜„ 100% guarantee…)

Especially when you are at the receiving end of these uncalled for assumptions, please be sure that you are clear in the signals that you are sending alongwith the words that you communicate because, assumptions are mostly based on non-verbal means. Watch out for your mannerisms and body language too.

And if you are at the giving end, can I request you my friend, to be more sensitive towards your receivers going forward and be more alert and vigilant about their requirements and needs, as much as possible. This will help you create more happiness and positivity around you!

You may also like to read my earlier blog Perceptions are seldom right!

To conclude: It’s not possible that we can know the facts in every situation but whenever we can, let us try to open the channels of communication, so it is more about understanding and responding rather than assuming and reacting, what say?

Gym with guaranteed results! Its a promise!

A fitness freak or otherwise, we all know what a “Gym” is, right!

Everyone who joins a Gym, goes there to workout with the idea of gaining body strength, increasing their metabolism, immunity and not to mention a good looking body. The reasons for joining a gym may differ but basically there is awareness that vigorous exercising will result in pain & sweat and the degree of pain increases with the intensity you do it.

But it is a health choice that one makes and then enjoys the pain that comes with it!

Like the old saying goes, No Pain, No Gain! Holds 100% true here!

You look out for strict instructors who will push you to try new exercise regimes that will help you to build more strength! Recall the smile that you have in that pain once you are done with your full set of a difficult regime! Priceless, isn’t it? You have a sense of achievement and that feel good feeling is awesome ๐Ÿ™‚

Okay, don’t be impatient, I am coming to the point I am trying to make!

What “Exercise” is to the body, “Problem” is to the mind!

Difficult situations that we simply call “Problems” bring in a lot of mental pain and agony in our life, don’t they?

Believe me, it is all in the mind and indeed a little change in your approach will make overcoming situations easier and happier and you will tend to benefit more from each such situation. I guarantee there is no loss, though, the benefits you reap from each situation may vary. Its a lifetime free gym with a very strict instructor indeed. The only option is to embrace this instructor and get ready to be trained well because like it or not this instructor is here to stay!

Can we bring in a little change in our outlook towards things to make it more positive? Let us stop considering difficult situations in our life as “Problems” and replace this with a more positive approach and start calling it an “Opportunity”.

Just when we do that, things will change and I promise they will change for good ๐Ÿ™‚

Because, when we think we are in a “Problem”, our mind gets into a defensive mode and only thinks about solving the issue at hand and not the bigger picture. Whereas, when the mind tries to cease an “Opportunity”, the mental approach is more creative and holistic! Do you agree?

Recall few of your difficult phases in your life for a moment! You will realize the benefits that you have received from most of those phases will outnumber the agony it gave you. But, there may be regrets too! If you had used that phase as an opportunity and not a problem, you would have done things differently and would have benefited much more from each situation!

Its never late, my friend! Start from now! Stop sulking for your situations that you call “Problems”, because these are indeed not problems, these are “Opportunities” sent to you by God, to make you Stronger, Tougher and Brighter, so can shine like the Sun! So give me a sunshine Smile of yours and get going! The world waits to see what you can do ๐Ÿ™‚ Don’t hold yourself back, show them and show yourself too how you seize each “Opportunity” of life going forward……

For more thoughts, you may also like to read my earlier blog, “Thank God life is not a “bed of roses”!

To conclude: Stop sulking, you are not the only one in a situation, which you call “Problem” and I propose that going forward you start considering it as an “Opportunity”. To each his own, believe me, everyone has their bucket full! You are in this situation, so that you can become stronger and shine brighter. Have a positive approach towards life and soon you will discover the purpose God has or had in putting you in any situation. Remember, it is all a part of God’s Masterplan and He is always right!

Unaccompanied travel!

Solo traveling is becoming quite a trend these days, isnโ€™t it?

Well, would you be surprised if I said that God has set this trend from the time life existed on earth. Each one of us has come alone on Mother Earth, empty handed, no bag and baggage! We are all alone in this journey of life and all decisions good as well as bad are totally ours! Do you agree?

During our stay here, our relations, emotions, feelings, our sense of security and comfort tie us down and influence our decisions, one layer over the other!

Ideally, when you travel alone, you prepare yourself a bit in advance! Wonโ€™t you?

You may pre-read about the place you are visiting to get a better understanding and this will also help you set right expectations for your travel.

Similarly, now that we are conscious about this solo journey called life, how about creating our list of things that we would like to include to enhance positivity in our life, irrespective of our circumstances and then stick to those!

Believe you me, this little step will help you in every other step you will take in every direction of life. If your mind has a positive vibration and aura, that will reflect on all your actions and decisions that you will take, not only for your selves but also for your loved ones! Be an influencer, an example for others to ease their journey of life!

Try it, it costs nothing and it may change the course of your life for good! What say?

To conclude: Be alert in your actions, be cautious of your deeds and acts. Spread happiness and take every event as just a halt on your ongoing journey called life! Smile, clicking a selfie …. remember itโ€™s a solo trip ๐Ÿ˜‰

Pondering on a solo train journey!

Imagine yourself on a long solo train journey on a luxury train. Let’s say that you will take around 3 days to reach your destination.

Note: Phones and wi-fi does not work on this train, so social media interaction is ruled out ๐Ÿ˜‰

How many movies can you watch and how much music you can listen to?

As humans, we have this need to interact and connect with other fellow humans! Do you agree?

Now, to satisfy this need, we look around for other passengers on this train and build a conversation. Sometimes, we try to initiate a conversation with the ticket checker too, just for the sake of speaking!! Isn’t it?

All those who have done these long journeys will recall the heart to heart talks they have done with these strangers! One thing leads to the other and you end up telling them so many stories from your life journey and they would have done the same. You may still be in touch with a few even now but most are gone with that journey but they stay in your memory forever. Am I right?

Just one more question before I move ahead….

You may have hugged them before getting down at your station or may have got teary eyed too but…….

Did you hold them from taking their own journey?

Wondering, where am I leading with this!

Our life is like this solo train journey, wherein we meet different people who are co-passengers on this train including our parents, our relatives, friends, spouse and even our enemies…….. we have common experiences with them, many good and few bad and then……

Its either our time to leave them or theirs to leave us!

This happens when the purpose of our meeting gets over! We part ways for this birth and may be its time for truce or we may meet again for balancing the carry forward in our next life journey!

The point I wish to make is that:

We don’t hold our co-passengers on the train from getting down at their intended destination, do we? So should we not let our loved ones go when its time to part ways!!

Please try to remember and cherish the happy times and moments spent together and wish them good and wish them well!

Especially for the ones who had to let go of their love interests or best friends (Yeah, I mean, boyfriends or girlfriends too ;), this justification may help to pacify their state of mind and help to motivate them to move on looking out for better pastures & not get disheartened!

For those losing their loved one’s to death, the feeling of agony and pain is very strong and no logic or reasoning can calm one down. I totally understand and respect that! But, my friend, this may help when you are ready to embrace the nuances of life …..

The choice is totally ours!

We can keep crying for the loss and dig the hole deeper with every tear or cherish each moment spent together and fill the hole with our smile and move ahead ๐Ÿ™‚ Please remember it is all a part of God’s Masterplan and what He has thought for us is way beyond and way better than our prayers and expectations! And this one I am sure about :). You may like to read my earlier blog Why did you meet them?

Only when few passengers leave your train of life, will there be place on the train to accommodate more passengers! Do you agree?

To conclude: It is our thoughts that make us weak or strong, so, to let anyone physically enter or exit your life, you have to be mentally ready and the more gracefully you let them go the more you will cherish your relationship with them. Letting go of the old will make some place for welcoming the new in your life!

Never say Never!

When we say “Never”, we kind of restrict ourselves from trying.

Till a year back, I was so sure that I would never do something, but then circumstances took over! Not only am I doing it, but unbelievably, I am enjoying it too! Has this happened to you as well?

Believe me, we form our emotions and our reactions in a situation based on our experience from the past and the background that we are aware of, right? So to simply put it in words…..

Our opinions are based on what we already know! But…what about what is yet to come?

Our decisions that we take for the future are based on these opinions and perceptions…….but, life is very unpredictable, my friend. Please be aware and always remind yourself that actually:

We have no control on the changes that will happen in the very next moment!

Let me try and explain with a few common examples:

Mom saying: “I will never allow my son to marry a girl from a specific community!”

This Mom has restricted her options of getting a good daughter-in-law just based on a bias….. humans should be judged as humans and not based on their community and culture….. what say?

Dad saying: “I will never allow my son to make stand-up comedy as a career!”

Well, we all enjoy going to the stand up comedy shows, right! Imagine if these comedians had listened to their Dads and never ventured in this field, what a loss it would have been for us as a society! Convinced, are you?

Girl saying: ”No way, never, will I sit at home and take care of those crying babies!”

All the caring mothers out there, each one of us, would have said this while we were girls but right now, we are all out to give out every wink of our sleep and every waking minute caring about our loved ones, don’t we?

Boy saying: “Why did she leave me? I will never let her go!”

Ha! This one is the most common one for boys! They say it after every break up and the moment they meet the next one….. the never goes in vain and actually it should! For those psychos who stick around and trouble their ex’s, please move on, have faith, life have other choices planned for you!

The point I am trying to make here is that it is a good idea to have an open mind! Think, introspect, consider your choices and make informed decisions and even opinions!

Please refrain from making statements and deciding for the future, when you don’t know what the circumstances will be like then!

Play it by the ear, my friend! Why restrict your choices?

To conclude: The past and the present, atleast till the moment we are in, we are aware of our circumstances, our situations, our emotions, the background, so yes, we can be sure of what and how only till the current moment, but, what happens the next moment, we don’t know! So, trying is better option than closing your choices! Let the moment come and then, you take a call and never before! Coz, you never know, what’s coming your way! Why settle for less when we deserve much more happiness and love and opportunities ๐Ÿ™‚

Struggles of a perfect host!

Have you ever come across a perfectionist host, who keeps snapping, cribbing and sulking during the party he or she so painstakingly organized at home for his or her close friends! The reason could be as bizarre as that the serving plate just got chipped while laying the table or one of the snack items arrived late ๐Ÿ˜ฆ What’s the end result, the host did not enjoy the party!! What’s the point in hosting a party that you yourself can’t enjoy? Did your friends come to meet you or to see your serving capabilities! ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Do you know who decides how your day will be like? It is you…..yes, just you!

Think about this! You have a list of to-do things ready for each day; the items on the list may vary depending on what you do professionally and personally but even if it is finishing the last 3 episodes of the series you are about to complete on Netflix :)… you have a to-do list that you wish to complete before you hit the bed every night, right! So, ideally, the ”What” part is taken care by this to-do list!

But….“How” you will execute these things, i.e. if you will do everything with a smile or snapping at the servants or cribbing along…… will decide how your day & your life will be!

Please understand that life is nothing but the sum total of all the days that we have spent so far and the ones that are yet to come! So, my friend, be watchful of how you have let the days go by and be alert to make the required changes now, if any!

The time gone will never come back!

Smile, express your love for the ones you care about, try to be happy, share gratitude and appreciation at every possible opportunity, learn to create positivity and please remember to stay away from cribbing, snapping and all kinds of negative emotions.

Changing the “How” part of your life will help in deciding “What” you make of your life! Are you convinced?

Let us promise ourselves to introspect and make a conscious effort to ensure that going forward we will look at life as a gift and cherish and enjoy every moment like there is no tomorrow!

To conclude: Next time you host or attend a party, ensure that you carry your smile along! That is all what matters, really! Be alert of your emotions, as your life is sum total of how you spend each day!

Geometry of life!

Try drawing a circle without using the compass! Yes for sure, to the naked eye, you can make a nice looking circle by hand but geometrically it may not come out perfect! Do you agree?

Similarly, in life we are supposed to reach from point A i.e. our birth to point B i.e. our end (or death if you are fine reading this hard truth) and what we do in between is the journey that we all undertake.

During this journey, we mostly know and take the right path!

But sometimes, there are easy choices or short cuts that are available and these choices attract us towards them. Just like the hand drawn circle that is easy to make rather than picking a compass and then drawing it perfectly; these short cuts seem to be so lucrative, easy and approachable!

Also, depending on our vulnerability, we may even get fully convinced in choosing these paths as we get blind sighted and neglect the fact that this path may have a flip side or ignore our inner voice that shouts : “THIS IS NOT RIGHT!”

Please remember that point A and point B are fixed for our life and the time you will take in this journey i.e. your life span is also fixed as per Godโ€™s master plan, so mind you, by taking these short cuts, we may end up elongating some other phase of your life….. so isnโ€™t it wise to stick to the right path rather than choosing the easy ones?

Think about it, we may be loosing more than we are gaining with wrong choices!

When we make these wrong decisions, irrespective of how big or small the decision is, believe me, our inner conscience warns us and we know something is not right! Do you agree?

Its never late in life! Try to create balance in your life. Be firm with yourself and also in your relations.

Truth is one and lies are many! Undoubtedly, what is right and true will remain so for everyone and in every moment!

But….when you lie or take short cuts, thatโ€™s when versions start getting created and every one can have a totally different version of the same situation, causing confusion, chaos, misunderstandings and agony!

We always have a choice but what we choose to move forward in our life, decides who we are as individuals. We define the geometry of our own lives! It is us who are solely responsible for our integrity and dignity, what say?

To conclude: Everything that you do going forward, just ensure that you take the right choice and not the easy choice….then, each moment spent in this journey called life will be worth living! Choose to use the compass next time ๐Ÿ™‚

Do you believe in sharing?

Sharing is caring!

This is what we have learnt and are teaching our children too, right!! But, do we really believe in sharing?

Donโ€™t worry I am not talking about donations of money and clothes here!

I want you to introspect and do a check within that are you ready to share your feelings and emotions? And mind you, sharing both positive and negative ones is equally important!

Let me tell you a short incident from the life of Alex and Tom to relate this better.

Alex was very talented, had enough experience as a store manager for car servicing company but owing to recession he lost his job ๐Ÿ™. He relocated and to survive took a job of a mechanic that paid him just enough to live. Alex wanted to get a better job but chose not to share his desire or feelings with his colleagues and peers working with him. No one knew his exact qualification or details about his vast experience, as Alex hardly spoke to anyone. Alex’s struggle went on for years….

Tom, the mechanic shop owner (where Alex worked) on the other hand was planning to open a store of auto parts and was looking for someone with knowledge and experience but was unable to find good candidates. ๐Ÿ™ Paying a Consultant to find the right candidate would have costed a lot of money, so the idea with Tom kept on getting delayed….

Both had issues and the simple solution was in the sharing!

Mostly, we restrict ourselves from sharing and especially our failures and negative emotions as we feel the other person may perceive us as weak.

I request you to read my earlier blog, Perceptions are seldom right!, if you have not read it already.

If Alex had shared his experience and concern with his peers, someone would have recommended him to Tom. Simultaneously, if Tom had shared the requirement with his team then may be Alex would have taken the opportunity to speak to Tom!

Can you observe, how a little act of sharing would have saved so much agony and brought so much happiness to both. Actually not just the two of them but to their respective families and imagine the positive impact it could have brought to their business.

As humans, we seek empathy, compassion, an ear to listen and most importantly a heart to understand. If you try to look around, you will notice that people who have good close friends or good companions or life partners, seem to have less problems, as they have someone to go to for discussion; someone who can help them get to the solution faster. Believe me, it is true!

I urge you to take time and make friends; speak to your family, colleagues, friends and peers…. help them to share their stories and inhibitions and you share yours. Help each other in any way you can… Even if you canโ€™t help, you will help them just with this act of sharing as most of the times, we already know the solution but we just need someone to validate it for us. Do you agree?

You have the power to heal someone of their pain and help them take the right decisions! And you can share this blessing at no cost!

Share your time with your loved ones, listen to them and connect with them to ease their journey as well as your own!

Want to share something, my friend? I am all ears! Write to me in the comment section below. You never know, may be I have the key to your problem or may be someone else in this vast universe may reach out to you through this channel! What’s the harm? ๐Ÿ˜‰

To conclude: Become the go to person for your near and dear ones. This won’t happen overnight, it will take time to build that trust and comfort for others to share their deepest feelings with you! Respect that and most importantly, as you won’t like your secrets leaked, no one does! So be very mindful if someone shares their feelings with you! Help them if you can, else, that little comfort of hearing and consoling is also worthy of an effort!

Observe – Nature has all the answers! Version 2.0

Picture courtesy: Tinybuddha.com

Be like a tree – Stay grounded, keep growing and know when to let go!

What a saying and what a learning this little phrase has!

If we can learn to observe this and appreciate the power of giving, it will indeed be a life worth living!

As mentioned in my earlier blog, Observe – Nature has all the answers! Version 1.0, if we try and closely observe nature, God has tried to explain the ways to lead a happy and contended life in very easy yet beautiful ways. Observing and learning from these ways will help each one of us bring in so much of positivity and happiness around us. Guess what, it is totally free and available every where.

Have you ever keenly observed this powerful gift of nature – Trees!

They are one of the very important reasons for life on earth….come on, this much science basics we all know! isn’t it? Plants not only gift us Oxygen, they also are the main source for our other basic necessity for living, yeah – Food.

Briefly, can you imagine, if Trees also became self centered and selfish like humans! I can bet, the world would not have been what it is today! Do you agree?

If we go by the phrase shared above, what can we learn from Trees?

Stay Grounded: It starts with sowing a seed and gradually with lots of patience and tender care and passing time, it becomes a tree! So, learn to be patient, calm and remain focused in struggling times too. Do not compromise on your values, be humble, gentle, caring and look at the people who have less than you and try to help them, whenever you get an opportunity.

When you help others, God sends help for you automatically!

During the journey of becoming a full fledged tree, it has to bear strong winds, sometimes storms, but only the tree that stands these difficult times, gets to bear the fruit. So, learn to stay grounded my friend and you will also blossom soon!

You may also like to read my earlier blog, Stay Grounded, for a detailed perspective.

Keep Growing: Can you stop a tree from growing, provided you don’t cut it? Well, there are so many forests on earth, who waters those plants? Nature does it all by itself and we have numerous varieties of trees, flowers and fruits that grow on earth, isn’t it?

Like Trees, God, Nature, the Universal Power, whatever you wish to call it, wants us also to grow and learn in every phase of our life.

So, do not cry in tough times, observe and learn! May be you got in that phase to learn or explore something within; may be a quality that you possess but you are unaware of and are not utilizing the same.

As parents, we do get tough with our children sometimes, as we know that they are capable of more….. Consider yourself as the child of God and take the test He puts you to! I promise, you will come out more grateful for the difficulties that you have to face! May be not now, but soon in future, you will realize the reason for the tough phases and what great outcome you got from each one of them!

Do not close your doors of hope, keep trying and keep growing my friend!

Learn to Let go: Wow, I like this part of the phrase the most! Imagine, if trees did not let go of the flowers and fruits and oh, before that if they denied giving us the Oxygen that we need to breathe…… Life cannot exist without this unconditional quality of giving by the trees!

On a global perspective, what are we doing to trees in return? Children across the world are getting united on this issue and are questioning our generation for the legacy we will leave behind for them and our future generations! Just some Food for thought…….

Trees teach us the art of giving so beautifully! The fruits and flowers are like the children of trees but they know the best usage for them is to be consumed or cherished while they ripe, else they will rot and get destroyed!

In life, we should also observe our actions, behaviors, activities, relations, etc. that need to Let go and bid adieu to them well in time! But….do we do that?

Most of the times, just out of our fear of change, we restrain ourselves from letting go and from trying something new, something different….. Please remember, if Nature or God or Universal Power sends something our way, it is done for a reason and if we don’t accept the “Pull” then the Nature has to apply the “Push” strategy and that is what we then call as a the struggling times and a low phase! So, learn to embrace the circumstances with an open mind and fill your life with positivity.

Believe me, with a little change in mindset, the struggles will seem like challenging opportunities! Its all in the mind, my friend!

To conclude: Be humble and giving like a Tree. Just keep doing good and the nature will return you in abundance! Learn to embrace the change in your life, be patient while the change happens and have faith that everything is happening as per God’s master plan and the final outcome will be good, that’s positive! Cheer up and keep smiling!

Its just a needle, but….

Once a greedy businessman got really sick and was almost on deathbed. He had only collected wealth for him and his family throughout his life at the cost of troubling and cheating others. At this moment, he was scared of death and was suffering in pain and anxiety. To ease his death, his family approached a renowned saint and requested him to conduct prayers for the dying man and help him attain salvation.

The Saint was a learned man and had many followers. Everyone was looking up to the Saint to help the dying businessman. His family (including his wife and 2 sons), was ready to offer as much wealth and resources required by the Saint and all they asked for was assurance that the businessman dies in peace.

Self check – Can anyone guarantee our salvation?

Well, the Saint very patiently sat next to the businessman while his wife and sons surrounded him. What the Saint said shocked everyone! Wondering what the Saint said?

No worries my son! I can guarantee you salvation but you will have to fulfill just one condition. I will give you a sewing needle that you have to handover to my mother who will meet you at the door of heaven. Just once you give her the needle, she will take you inside heaven and your soul will undoubtedly attain peace and salvation!

Are you also shocked?

This is the truth, my friend. We can collect as much wealth, jewelry, resources in our life but we cannot carry any of these material things when our life journey ends. As simply put by the Saint, we cannot even carry a sewing needle which is so very small and has no weight! Then, why collect so much?

As humans, we have the tendency to feel secure and we get that assurance by collecting resources and wealth. Go on…..collect, no problem… Only thing required is to be a little mindful of the wealth we collect. Is it not wise to concentrate more on collecting the wealth that we is worth the effort and helps us?

Yes, you know very well what all goes with us. All our deeds, i.e. good deeds, the smiles that we create, the love that we spread, the blessings that we gather……all of these and mind you, also all the bad deeds, the tears caused owing to our behavior, cheating, tricking and the abuses and back biting that we do for others.…. hmmm…. yes, all these will go with us.

Remember my earlier blog …Aiming at “Zero” – a state of absolute balance! that explains good deeds and bad deeds buckets in detail. If you have not read it or would like to refresh your memory, please read it by clicking on this link: https://bit.ly/2npdFpN

We get to chose and decide our journey here that has a direct impact on our journey beyond. So, chose wisely my friend.

To conclude: Be a little selfish to yourself and be mindful in choosing your deeds and actions. Collecting the right wealth and not these materialistic things will benefit your life here and beyond! Believe me, its totally worth your efforts!

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