Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Alex was sitting in a corner, silently sobbing all by himself but today after 10 years of long wait, there was also a little smile on his lips and a sense of gratitude in every tear he was shedding!
Wondering the connection between Sobs and Smiles?
Well, Alex was sitting in the ICU waiting area of the hospital where his ailing wife Suzie, was undergoing a Liver transplant…..as the hospital finally found a matching donor for her after an extensive and exhausting wait of 10 long years 😦
Owing to confidentiality, he does not know which blessed soul gave Suzie this “Gift of Life” but silently in his heart he is conveying his thanks to the Almighty, to this sacred soul and also to the family who took this tough call!
Soon, Suzie will be able to live a normal life and will also be able to take care of her 11 year old daughter, Tina…. who has lived almost all her childhood without a mother’s care!
Thinking about this scenario, don’t you agree that this “Gift of Life” has saved not only the recipient’s life but has given a new lease of hope to an entire family!
Like me are you also thinking and blessing the donor in your heart…. well, that’s so kind of you but more important is our action, my friend towards saving more lives while we can!
I urge each one of you to think about this scenario and approach the closest hospital or get online to explore the options of volunteering for this cause and fill out the details while we are still hale and hearty….because we will not know when the time will come. This little effort of ours can help save a few lives…..
We don’t know our future, do we?
Very few blessed souls get this opportunity of donating this “Gift of Life”!
But trust me, with this formality, we make it easier for our grieving families! Whenever a moment like this will come, our loved one’s will go through a lot of physical as well as emotional trauma. By this act of volunteering, we are in a way helping our loved ones who will have to take these tough call on our behalf, if need be!
Though the topic is intense but believe me my friend, these are the values we wish to leave for our coming generations, isn’t it! What better way of teaching them a lesson of compassion?
To conclude: We all know the ultimate truth of life and this choice is positively worth a thought! If our little act can bring smiles even after we are gone, help our grieving loved ones take tough decisions and give satisfaction to one and all, isn’t that the Karma that we wish to accumulate in our Good deeds bucket? Aiming at “Zero” – a state of absolute balance! Decision is obviously yours but trust me, we can be on either side of the table my friend, please remember that!
Deep in our hearts, we always know what we are doing (the good, bad and ugly) but on the outside, we can remain in a ‘state of denial’ forever……. can you relate?
Especially for the acts when we try to do selfish things that may benefit us more or cause (some) harm to others (degree may vary)….. your heart will tell you a clear direction!
Familiar with these phrases that your heart screams within when you take some selfish decisions-
But…….what do we do?
We remain in a state of denial, as if we did not hear what was said, even though the voice is screaming loudly inside, we tend to stay unaffected and still go ahead and take those decisions which are ideally against our own values and principles!
Our inner voice is governed by what we are made of including our values and that is why, it screams when we don’t stand by it! Do you agree?
Trust me, we accept it or not, but we do get our answers, the outcome of our every act, loud and clear, even before we do it!
The Power resides within us and it always guides us to take the right step!
Taking selfish decisions may be good for us in the short term but in the long run, please remember that one needs to pay for one’s deeds, good as well as bad! You may also like to read my earlier blog Aiming at “Zero” – a state of absolute balance!
In life, we always get choices and the guidance too, but what we choose reflects our inner character, our values and what we are truly made of!
Doing the right thing and not making selfish choices gives us that awesome feeling of satisfaction, contentment, lots of positivity and happiness, which actually is our earned treasure 🙂
To conclude: Others remember us in their hearts for both reasons, for love and respect and equally for hatred! By being a little alert in our deeds, we can benefit people around us and create happiness and smiles and no more heart-burns for them or for us! Isn’t that on top of our wishlist always? Additionally, we can feel contented & happy within and on top of that, feel proud of ourselves by doing the right thing! That’s like a little icing on the cake 🙂
Alex had his first interview scheduled next morning and he was not checking Google nor the Company website; neither was he busy reading his notes or anything. Actually, he was doing nothing to prepare for the same, the only thing he was indulging in was “Worrying”….. you think that would help?
Well, if worrying helped, then, none of us would have any problem, because, worrying is what we do the most of the times, Don’t we?
Keeping yourself outside of any situation, think for a moment and you will realize that worrying has not added any value to the whole deal, it has only added stress, agony, anxiety and further confusion to the scenario which could be easily avoided! Wondering, why do we do it then!
The first answer is…..that as humans, it is very easy and natural to Worry!
When we worry, we attract a lot of Negativity and our imagination builds up images of all the misfortunes, unhappiness adding to our already existing sorrow, grief and anxious state of mind.
Does worrying help? Of course not, it just adds further fuel to the already lit fire!
Can we do anything about it? Yes, the solution is very simple!
Just do not let the negativity surround you in any situation. Learn to Analyze and Introspect any situation, keeping yourself out and think practically and most probably, the solution will be in your sight within no time.
Coming back to Alex, if he had done his basics revision, knowledge check about the Company and other related preparation, he would have been more at ease! Isn’t it!
Well, our problems are unique and we and only we know what works best to find the solutions we seek. It could be a Checklist for few, a Discussion session for others, Drawing the situation on a board could be another choice, etc. etc. The ways could be very different but the outcome will be a Workable Solution to your problem! What’s the harm in trying?
Easier said than done, that’s what you are thinking right! I know, it indeed is, but it is You my friend, who can help Yourself. No one will come from outside to make your journey smooth, it is your life, your choices and remember,
“As you sow, so shall you reap.”
Together, we can inspire each other to sow the right seeds for a great future crop, which is full of love, respect, positivity, happiness minus the worrying! Are you with me?
To conclude: If we can understand this fact that Worrying is nothing but a waste of time and consumes most of our energy, we can be more alert in making our choices and restrain from this wasteful effort! The moment we start being practical, the solutions will start showing up, trust me, because now we are in a more constructive mind and have a positive approach towards things and towards life at large. Try it, as your worrying is anyways not helping, I am pretty sure of that! Waiting to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below….
Try clapping with just one hand, Can you? Well, very few of us have that special skill to create that clap like sound with one hand, but it indeed is not a real clap, isn’t it! For a real clap, two hands is the basic requirement 🙂
Try this simple experiment…….clap your hands differently, I mean change the angle or the power with which one hand strikes the other and each time the sound you will hear will also be different! The hands are the same, but the change is owing to the other factors that are influencing the sound of the clap that we hear! Isn’t it?
In any relationship, this principle has a lot of indepth perspective. Believe me, it can be really very useful in leading a happy positive life if we can understand this little skill of appreciating this principle! Wondering how??
When our two hands that are connected to the same brain and are taking orders from the same control centre can create different sounds with little changes, then, what can these external influences do to a relationship where two or more people are involved, have you ever wondered!
Well, to simply put it, a relationship is between two or more people, and the minimum requirement for any relationship is “two”, right! For any healthy relationship, we need to understand that the other person or the second half, sometimes what we also address as our “better halves” have their own perspective towards things, ideas, issues, problems and life at large….. Do you agree?
On top of this, there are other influences like our partner’s past experience in a similar circumstance, some beliefs that he or she may have formed, their knowledge and information that they have gathered from their learning and hearsay, lives of their parents, their experiences and this list of influencers can be endless! Actually, in a relationship……
We tend to like a particular clap sound that pleases us and you know what that is? Well, that is getting approval from your other half to whatever we say!
Till we keep getting that, we think that the relationship is working great, we are on top of your game, there is happiness, there is satisfaction, basically, our ego is satisfied!
But, please remember my friend, that it takes “Two to Tango”! One step taken differently by your partner can change the move and it can mostly disrupt the flow!
So, for a better sync, what do you think is the secret ingredient?
I think it’s understanding & appreciating their perspective!
Imagine a life with your partner, where both of you have the independence and courage to create more and more new clap sounds, newer dance moves and that can only be done when both of you respect and understand and give each other that space,….. reflect that confidence that you are there to hold them, if they fall or if they fail! I promise, with this courage, sky is the limit…..
Pl. remember, “They are not wrong, its just that they have a different perspective!”
Learn to give your partners some space, don’t let “ego” be a part of any relationship, be it with your spouse, your friend, your parents, your peers, colleagues or anyone you enjoy that bond with!
With time you will already know their answers, even before they express it!
And that is your real victory! Then, life will be in total sync….. but this will come gradually and will require a lot of introspection and reflection from you!
Being in “Sync” is the key! Learn to live in a healthier relationship without any ego, without any dominance! Try to find that balance, that sync between the two of you and then see how beautiful this life is!
Do you fight with your partners on their birthday, your birthday, your anniversary and on other special occasions in your life? You don’t, right!
So, if you can restrain on those days, why can’t you try doing the same every day and put in that little extra effort to ensure that every day is a special day and stay away from cribbing and fighting and put all your efforts in making cherishing memories each day!
Life is too small to crib and complain, my friend and we don’t know which breathe is last for whom,,,,, so happiness and smiles is what we should try to create the most, not only for us but for everyone around us!
To conclude: Work on your relationships with your loved ones! Bring in that sense of understanding their perspective whenever there is a disconnect and learn to appreciate thoughts and ideas of others! It will help you get a wholesome experience of life and soon, your relationships will become an example, a benchmark for others to learn and follow! Lead from the front my friend and your partner will be surprised to see a new you! Abundance of love, respect, smile and positivity is what you will receive in return, I Promise 🙂 Giving it a try, do let me know in the comment section below! Good luck!
Letting go, moving on, forgiving….. what’s the big deal!
Do you have emotional wounds from the past that feel as fresh as it happened right now? Trust me, you are not alone, my friend!
Most of us are living with grudges, scars, wounds of emotional trauma, an old tiff or argument….We are suffering within but unable to forgive! Do you also wonder why?
Sometimes, no actually most of the times, we feel bad or take avenge against acts of others which knowingly or unknowingly we may have also done to others…. Confused!
Well, to simply put it, as humans we need a closure to the things we do and this art of forgiving, helps us to create that balance in our doings, i.e. for the acts which we seek forgiveness vis a vis those, where others are seeking forgiveness from us!
So, for a happy and positive life, a great mantra to follow is :
Forgive to be forgiven!
Why care about it?
Giving forgiveness makes one feel lighter in the heart as well as mind and so is the benefit in seeking forgiveness! Believe me, it eases our thought process and creates abundance of positivity in our life!
When we forgive or seek forgiveness, the art is in the clear understanding and realization of the mistake (ours or theirs) and then promising our soul to never repeat and finally a closure, a mark for us to move on….
Till we learn to do this, all of this is very momentary, you may feel that you have forgiven or have genuinely asked for forgiveness but the wound/grudge is not healed completely and it keeps coming back! Relatable…
Like you are holding on someone’s grudge in your heart, someone may be holding a grudge against you! Life is all about balancing and here again we need to learn to balance between the give and take of forgiveness 🙂
To conclude: Let go of the wounds that you hold so dear to your heart, forgive them, don’t wait for their “Sorry”, as you are forgiving them, my friend, not to do them a favour but to benefit your own soul and to create positivity in your own life and every forgiveness you will bestow, will bring you abundance of peace and calm, I promise. Try it, it just looks difficult but once you are in the flow, you will enjoy the fruits of this powerful gift!
The other day, I noticed in my son’s maths task sheet, there was a section titled, “Should Do” and then there was another section called “Could Do”! Wondering, what it meant, I checked with my son and he explained to me that “Should Do” section covers the basics and its compulsory for everyone to attempt that section and then the “Could Do” section includes challenge questions and they are given for the one’s who would like to check their knowledge of the concept further. If you attempt “Could Do” section, then, you get extra credits. Interesting, isn’t it!
This got me thinking about the real life scenario…..we offer help when we are asked to, i.e. the “Should Do”, we have been taught to do, but what about the opportunities wherein we are in a position to help, i.e. we “Could do”, but do we explore those opportunities well in our life??
That’s one question, I urge each one of us to ask ourselves everyday, morning and night!
More than 90% of the times, we are in a situation to help someone but we choose to look away thinking that they haven’t asked for it then, why should I get into this? Do you agree?
But my friend, your little offer of help may change a life, may bring smiles, cheer, happiness and hope to someone’s day! Every effort done in this direction is worth it, believe me!
Sometimes, the person seeking help just keeps waiting for you to offer that help and do you know why? Because they are scared of Denial….. so, they don’t ask directly. We on the other hand, expect people to ask for help if they need it, else, we don’t want to poke unnecessarily. In the bargain, a “Could Do” opportunity is lost!
I wish we all thought of changing our mindset a bit towards being more empathetic and offering our help wherever we have any capability to help!
Not with any expectations in return, just help to help and trust me, the ultimate satisfaction that you will get out of this act is priceless!
Be it helping someone find a job, a reference for a course, some guidance in exam, connecting someone to the right doctor or as simple as spending some time with an elderly couple in your neighborhood… anything, just anything that can help someone smile, feel motivated… this unconditional help that you give is your “Could Do” and remember the bonus points mentioned in the task sheet, my friend, believe you me, these acts will come handy when you would need any help!
I am not saying that we should help, as we need help in return but mind you, every drop counts and what we start today, may become a revolution and lets be optimistic enough to think that one day Helping out others will become a reflex action for all of us! Then, you and me, will also get help when we need it! What say? Isn’t it worth a try?
To conclude: If you are in a position to help someone, consider yourself blessed! I am not saying to give favours but genuinely if someone deserves a helping hand and you can offer yours, please never leave that opportunity of “Could Do”! The bonus marks that you get for attempting that “Could Do” will bring in a lot of motivation and happiness and satisfaction in your own life. Try it and share your experiences in the comment section, whenever you do! We are always looking out for inspiration!
2019 will soon be ending and we all are in that winding up phase to close all the loose ends, so we can start afresh in 2020…. with full energy and zeal!
Those year end appraisal discussions, that car servicing, house renovation, Christmas shopping,,,,,oh, there is so much on the to-do-list!
But, I urge you my friend to take a moment of PAUSE and THINK!
What is it that’s ending that we are celebrating & what’s that we are gearing up for?
Its just a change in the way we will write the date and nothing else! Am I right?
Hmm! Am I demotivating you from partying and getting high on life? Of course not!
What I am trying to do is to imbibe a thought to be in the happy mood each and every day of your life!
Out of curiosity, I looked up for the dictionary meaning of ”CELEBRATE” and as per Cambridge dictionary it is: ” to recognize an important occasion by taking part in an activity that makes it special“……
So literally, we need an occasion, a reason or an accomplishment to “CELEBRATE”!
But, do we really need to wait for these accomplishments, achievements and only then do we allow ourselves to be happy, to party, to let loose?
I then, looked up for another word “ENJOY”, which as per Cambridge dictionary means: “to get pleasure from something”
Hmm.. this one looks more manageable in our day to day lives, isn’t it…..
Thinking a little deeper, I am now wondering that isn’t waking up each day and having something to do should be a reason enough to “CELEBRATE” life in each passing moment!
Don’t wait for milestones to celebrate, my friend, the happiness is in the journey! Enjoy till it lasts!
What’s the point of achieving a milestone when you don’t have good memories to cherish from that journey? Think about it!
What also comes with year end is the parties, celebrations and family get-togethers! So much of energy goes in winning that tag of a perfect host, isn’t it? Please read my earlier blog Struggles of a perfect host!
To conclude: Moments to “CELEBRATE” may be few but do not wait to “ENJOY” your life, my friend. Trust me, once you start doing it, you will feel that life is worth living and enjoying and it will indeed give you enough reasons to “CELEBRATE” each and every day! Start Enjoying life and Celebrations will soon follow!
Tina, my friend’s 6-year old daughter went for a birthday party at her friends house. Just when the food got served, she got something in her tray that she liked from the look of it but she didn’t eat it right away! You will laugh what she did 😊 She ran with her tray to her mom and very innocently asked her:
“Hey Mom! Do I eat this?” 😊😊
Suzie, Tina’s Mom held her tightly in her arms, kissed her and with a smile replied, “Yes sweetheart! you definitely eat this and indeed you will love this dish! Help yourself with a bigger serving my love!”
Cute, isn’t it!! Wondering the connect?
Like Mom has most of the answers for their children, especially till they are actually children….. it’s kind of same with God, Almighty or with whatever name you call that Power! We are His children and the beauty of this fact is that we remain His children for our entire life; age does not matter here!
God like a loving mother, not only takes care of us and loves us unconditionally but also like a strict mother, disciplines us, pushes us to take that step that we are hesitant to take sometimes. Do you agree?
Have you ever heard a Mom over feeding her child?
Probably not…. as mothers seem to have this sixth sense that makes them fully aware of their children’s limits both inner as well as their outer limit!
Similarly, God knows our appetite for taking hardships and trust me, what we get in our bucket of troubles and hardships, we are worthy of pulling it off! We sometimes underestimate our capability but God knows our purpose & our strengths much more than we ourselves realize!
So, don’t hesitate, don’t be scared, don’t feel weak my friend, when you are put in situations you don’t feel comfortable in! You are indeed capable of handling any situation, if you have been put in it! Truly believe in the fact that God as your kind mother is testing you to make you stronger, sharper and brighter with each passing moment! Believe me, the journey will only become easier with this little change in your thought process….
To put it simply, like little Tina, if something has been served in your plate by God……. you surely have the ability to eat it! Bitter or sweet, chew it slowly my friend and trust me you will realize the benefits of everything that you go through in due course 🙂
To conclude: Keep faith in whatever you believe in, surround yourself with lots of positivity that whatever has come your way, both good as well as bad has come for a purpose and have faith that you are capable of handling it! Believe me, with faith and a positive frame of mind, nothing can stop you from achieving a happy, fulfilling life 😊 Smile and march ahead my friend👍🏻 Each step accompanied with bundle of positivity!
What will you do if you get a stain on your shirt? And especially if it’s a crisp white shirt!! You will do anything and everything to get rid of that stain, right?
You may rub it rigorously or you may give the shirt for dry cleaning or some other home remedy but you will try hard to get the stain off the shirt right!
You must be wondering what’s up with me that I am discussing shirt stains out of all the things! Well, when I will relate you will also be astonished!
Will you believe if I tell you that in life, we are in the habit of retaining the stains on our heart ❤️ and keep poking them to make it worse and deep with each passing moment, hour, month, year and then years, decades and our entire life!……..😮
Surprised? Let me explain if you have not already guessed the point I wish to make!
Every time we have a bad experience with anyone, we keep a grudge against them, that is symbolic of the stains on the shirt that I used in the example. But, unlike the shirt stain that we are so curious to remove, we work over time to keep these grudges intact.
Haven’t you heard your loved ones saying:
“Though I have moved on, but, in my heart I will always remember what he/she did to me! The memory of that incident will remain with me forever!”
Mind you, in life we get a lot of experiences and we may not remember all the good ones but we ensure to always keep all the nasty ones pretty fresh and always intact in our memory….. isn’t it?
To lead a good life that is full of positivity and happiness, we need to become alert and conscious in the way we deal with our experiences and take the path of “Forgive and Forget” and learn to LET GO , especially the negative emotions!
If you wish to bring in a positive change in your life, try recalling all the nasty instances that prick you, one at a time! If needed, write them on a piece of paper, put the sheet on fire and see it burn…..That moment should be symbolic of your letting go of that episode from your life and all grudges, emotions and sentiments.
Sometimes, doing these things with a physical expression like writing and burning the sheets really helps in erasing those difficult episodes from your memory! Gradually, you will become stronger and you will not need this extra effort of writing and burning, just a calm moment of thinking and refreshing your thoughts will be enough! Won’t be easy but believe me, if you can do this, life will change for you for good and you will find so much peace and solace within:)
Forgive them for what they did, because forgiving will help you in moving on in your life and trust me you will feel much lighter and happier.
To conclude: To progress in life, we have to clean our slate of the past experiences, especially the negative ones as that’s the only way to make place for new experiences, emotions and feelings. Help yourself by truly believing in the mantra of “ Forgive and Forget” and “Let Go”. Try practicing this and I promise you will love yourself just like the crisp white shirt ….. stainless indeed!
Do you believe that Life is a gift that we have got or do you have some riders attached to this statement like most other human beings!
Life is a gift provided I have plenty of money!
Life is a gift provided I have a beautiful wife and a happy family!
Life is a gift provided I have the most satisfying job!
Life is a gift provided I can beat my rebel and get to top my college!
Oh, I can go on and this list is endless…. very relatable, isn’t it!
To cherish a gift, we need to understand its value and worth, isn’t it!
Would you agree if I said that we can experience the gift of life is in every episode of inhale and exhale of oxygen, the process we call breathing! Unfortunately, for most of us, we take this simple act for granted and don’t understand & appreciate its importance enough.
We all need to learn to be thankful for every breath that we are blessed to take!
If you think a little deep, what is the difference between a living man and a dead one, it is his ability to breathe, right?
Yeah, scientifically, I know that there is a lot that goes at the backend but for basic understanding, if you are able to breathe, you have got the gift of life for another moment and it goes on till you have the ability to take your very last breath.
Isn’t that enough reason to celebrate that you can breathe?
To cherish this gift of life, we need to learn to celebrate every small instance, than to wait for achieving big milestones.
Very important fact to remember about life is that it’s a journey and what milestone we set today as our ambition will become history once achieved and then something else will come in our radar and so on…. so the riders that we keep putting to qualify our life as good also keep varying all the time!
Please remember, There is nothing called perfect life! For anyone….
What will happen if you are yet to achieve your milestones and you are still happy and celebrating, I bet, that positive attitude will only get you closer to getting a wholesome experience of life and there is nothing to lose in this deal! Try it!
Every morning, the ability to wake up is a reason enough to celebrate and actually, every opportunity that we get to inhale is another moment given to us to celebrate life……Think about it, its not too difficult to be happy and to smile 🙂 all it takes is just a little shift in our approach towards life.
Remember, Half glass full or half glass empty!
Keeping a positive and thankful approach towards life will surely reflect in your attitude and the way you will handle situations. Because what we may consider as a hurdle, could actually be a bridge to take us to a better pasture of life! So, rise and shine, my friend 🙂
Being ambitious is not bad but making your happiness and appreciation of life depend on the success and achievement of your goals is not a good idea! Do you agree?
To conclude: Be cheerful, thankful, feel happy and smile for what you have and learn to keep a positive frame of mind! If not all, 60-70% of your problems will go away with this little shift in attitude, because remember, most problems are not problems but opportunities, the difference is only in the way you deal with them! Don’t wait for achievements to celebrate life, create memories to cherish in every moment and that will be your biggest achievement, trust me!
You may like to read my earlier blog: Gym with guaranteed results! Its a promise!