Which hat are you wearing today?

Suzie has a great collection of beautiful hats and she loves (actually now I should say loved because in these times of pandemic, there are no parties happening ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ) to flaunt them at our monthly get togethers…. Everytime she would walk in to our parties and sometimes even before she came, the talk around the table would be…. what will be her look today, etc. and believe me, she always outspelled us with her awesome style and class that she brought along!!

Well, we all love to flaunt what we have within and gather those lovely compliments and create that buzz around our presence, isn’t it!

But do we do it only with the positive things or most of the times, we try to get sympathy and attention from others, think about it?

Thinking about Hats, will you agree if I say that in life and in most of the situations that we come across, we have a choice to flaunt one of the 2 hats…..

“Victim Hat” or “Survivor Hat”

It takes least effort and is most convenient to wear the “Victim Hat” to get sympathy, love and attention of others….Somehow, wearing the so called Victim Hat comes naturally to all of us, but we have to bring in a lot of change in our mindset and approach towards life to start becoming a Survivor, as it takes extreme courage and sometimes arguments and disagreements!

So, which Hat do you choose to wear today, my friend?

Only by asking this little question to ourselves every now and then, we can be cautious about our behaviour and gradually, we can start becoming a Survivor rather than a Victim, what say?

To conclude: Please remember….. we are what we choose to be, so choose right, feel positive and lead your life with happiness, empathy rather than sympathy, be compassionate and help and educate others to become fighters and survivors in life too…..Survivors may be dissuaded and disagreed upon initially but believe me, in the end when they win the battle, they do get their due applaud and much more, yeah, their own satisfaction and their own victory to celebrate forever ๐Ÿ™‚

But….I have a reason!

We all have heard about that old saying โ€œ when we point a finger at others, the rest four point back at usโ€ and most often than not, we all do try to be a little watchful in our actions….. donโ€™t we? And indeed thatโ€™s the right thing to do ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

But, have you noticed that many a times, we end up tagging few of our relatives, friends, colleagues and peers for life for one of their nasty acts/comments which they may have committed just once or a few times. We judge them, discuss them with others, opine against them, etc. for the rest of our lives…..

Well, I am not saying what they did was right or wrong….. All I am saying is that there may have been moments and I bet there are (if you try to recall your own behavior) where we may have behaved nasty enough! But…..we always ended up justifying our heart, our mind and our friends and loved ones with various reasons to validate those acts of ours…..isn’t it?

Yeah, sure you had a reason to behave in a fashion you did but my friend, why does it take our entire life and even beyond to give that same benefit of doubt to our relatives, our friends and our loved ones?

Have you noticed that our body grows with age and we increase in height and size with time. Itโ€™s the law of nature and happens on its own, isnโ€™t it! But….trust me, if the tenderness of our heart โค๏ธ, our empathy, our sympathy, our love will grow equally with every passing year…. thatโ€™s not a give in and serious amount of efforts are required to be put in on that front! Do you agree?

Believe me, our heart decides our true age with the depth and compassion that has grown within ….so how old are you, my friend ๐Ÿ™‚ In this case, bigger the better ๐Ÿ™‚ isn’t it!

You may like to read my earlier blog….Two little hands goโ€ฆclap, clap, clap!

To conclude: Be mindful that with age, like we need exercise for the physical wellness, we do need to continuously work on our compassion and mental endurance to become and remain emotionally well by opening up our hearts, by being more loving and forgiving! So choose wisely, my friend๐Ÿ˜Š Start now and challenge yourself to become better with each passing year.… Wow, if you have done this consciously for five years in a row, you are a Saint soul already๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป Hats off my friend…. for rest including myself, itโ€™s never too late to start, what say?

Little Tina’s quest!

My friend, Suzie’s daughter, Tina has recently learnt counting and now she wants to put a number to everything that she observes around!

During these COVID times, we all have been in a state of extended Lockdown and living in a virtual world. Last Sunday, just to refresh my spirits, I was on a Video call with Suzie when Tina came barging in the room and asked Suzie…..

Mom, we have 2 eyes, 2 ears, 2 nostrils…. then, why only one Tongue?

Such a cute innocent question right…. but Suzie had to struggle to convince her with vague reasons that we have a big mouth…. the tongue is split in the middleso it is in two parts, blah, blah, blah… ๐Ÿ™‚

Yeah…you guessed it right, my little angel Tina had given me something worthwhile to wonder and ponder on ๐Ÿ™‚ After a lot of thinking on this topic…. here is what I deciphered!

What we see with our eyes, what we hear with our ears and the air or odor that we smell with our nostrils is sometimes beyond our control, so figuratively speaking, God has given us an entry and exit for what we retain with us and what we let go…

Many a times, we are not responsible for what comes our way and we end up watching something we did not wish to or overhear a conversation we were not supposed or in these current COVID times, inhale infected Air that for sure we don’t want to….

But….we use our Tongue to speak and it is in our control one hundred percent. The words that we speak are solely ours and we own everything we say and imply with our words that come out from our mouth.

There is no option of exit or taking u-turn to what has come out of our mouth, so we have got to be very careful with every word that we speak…Do you agree?

With this thought, I feel that God has been very kind to give us just one Tongue, so we can keep a better control; imagine if it was otherwise! I think its God’s way of telling us to be very cautious in its usage, isn’t it!

To conclude: If all it takes is lesser and better words to make our environment a happier place, just by keeping a little restraint and control, then don’t you think it is totally worth our effort ๐Ÿ™‚ Believe me, what we say totally reflects on who we are as a person and also demonstrates the values that we carry….so, time to rise and shine my friend and remember what they say….. Pen is mightier than the sword (and spoken words are mightier than the written one’s most of the time ;))

Suzie aced her perfect bend!

Suzie joined her Dance class almost six months ago and she has been trying to ace that perfect bend in her class since the very beginning. She has been practicing at home as well and everyday she got closer to perfection….. Guess what, today she did it and she feels so accomplished, elated and happy about her achievement…..

Isn’t that a wonderful feeling, that sense of achievement when we accomplish what we seek for. We all know and understand that feeling, don’t we? We also do acknowledge the amount of efforts, practice and perseverance that goes in! Isn’t it?

For our physical achievements, sometimes, we really go the extra mile to prove it to the world that we have it in us! That’s great, keep it up!

This got me wondering a bit about our emotional achievements, especially in the current times, when with COVID 19, we are amid a Pandemic and nothing is working, the way we used to call it as “Normal”. Everything has changed and these are unique circumstances globally, isn’t it!

Do we really challenge ourselves Emotionally?

Will it not be nice if we could wake up in the morning and give ourselves some emotional challenges and then, be attentive during the day to achieve those to the best of our ability……Let’s call it “HAPPY HEART Challenge”!

  • Today I will make X no. of people smile!
  • I will let go of some of my fears today!
  • I will keep my spirits high today!
  • I will motivate someone today!
  • I will help someone today!
  • I will not get angry at anyone today! (This one is for the tough one’s who are taking this challenge really seriously ;))

These goals could be to improve ourselves or to help others! Best part about this HAPPY HEART Challenge is that even if we have 10-20% achievement rate, we will still end up being happier, making our emotional surroundings better and become better human beings.

Also, when we engage with others, it will result in having a little better world to live in with every small achievement ๐Ÿ™‚ Imagine when everyone starts being a little conscious about this, the synergy effect it can bring on…..Worth a try, isn’t it?

Remember Suzie’s sense of achievement? Well, I can promise that the sense of these achievements could be similar or may be a little more for your own selves but the effect it will leave on others will be “Priceless” ๐Ÿ™‚

To conclude: Imagine the amount of happiness and smiles we all together can gather through these little alert efforts ๐Ÿ™‚ and it can be done without changing anything in our daily schedules! Please remember that while we start to look out for others, various others start looking out for us too….Wow, a little Domino effect that can be brought up with a few positive thoughts. Like the “ICE BUCKET Challenge”, help me get this “HAPPY HEART Challenge” go viral and spread happiness when we all need it the most ๐Ÿ™‚

Sometimes “Plan B” is better!

All of us struggle in our lives to successfully achieve what we call as “Plan A” i.e. the success plan, where we have astonishing career, great family, abundance of finances and to top it all popularity among all for being such a great success story, isnt’ it!

Have you ever wondered who has set this “Plan A” for us and what will happen if we achieve our “Plan B” and be happy rather than sulk and still not achieve our so called “Plan A”?

Most of us are under stress throughout our lives for beating our own set of expectations, i.e. our ability or inability to be at par with all the conditions that qualifies us to be a successful achiever. If you try to equate its worth…the end result of all this is short lived happiness if you are successful in achieving a part of your “Plan A“. Why do I say that? Because one can never achieve all “Plan A”, something in that plan always remains unchecked ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

And, if you don’t achieve anything, you end up being in agony, pain, depression, negativity…. and that is the cause of so many mental health issues. The very reason why young and successful people are taking the drastic step of committing suicide these days ๐Ÿ˜ฆ So sad, right.

We all have “Plan B” but we shy away from addressing it and admitting that we are fine with embracing that….. you know why?

“Plan B” is the survival plan, where we have everything that we need to live life and who says we cannot be happy with limited means…. Ask the millionaires of the world if they are happy with the abundance of money! Believe me, they are not!

Please remember, as humans, we set such goals for ourselves that we can never be contended and satisfied, so what come may, we will never be able to achieve “Plan A” completely…. we will always be sad about something….So, to simply put it, we have a choice here between being on our toes all the time or being happy and contented ๐Ÿ™‚

Believe me, it takes a lifetime for us to make these simple choices and while we realize it, most of our life has gone by sulking and crying, so choose wisely my friend!

To conclude: Whatever you do in life, do it for your happiness and contentment, not to achieve a medal or popularity from others. Because it is your life and you get to decide what is your Plan and whatever it is, be happy that you have this Gift of Life and live it fully, as Life is in the Living not in just spending years….What say?

Just โ€œI doโ€ or Do you?

All the married couples there, all of you have said this โ€œI doโ€ while taking your wedding vows to your better halves, isnโ€™t it!

I was wondering….. But how many of us truly โ€œDoโ€ deliver on those promises? Well, we know the answer, donโ€™t we๐Ÿ˜Š

I wish it was so easy to give promises and then remain true and committed to them…. it takes a lot of courage and inner strength to be firm in your thoughts and actions and when you do commit, it clearly shows in your actions and reactions with your loved ones…. Do you agree?

There are couples with great chemistry and then there are those who canโ€™t stand each other ๐Ÿ™‚ We all have seen enough of each variety and do you know what it really takes to cherish a relationship?

Well taking about relationships in general and using the above example, can we not say that to create a beautiful bond in any relationship, one need to give love, respect and commitment! Am I right?

Imagine if we displayed this kind of commitment to every relation we maintained in our life.. be it with our spouses, our parents, our siblings, our children, our friends! Donโ€™t you think that we will be able to cherish each relationship to its fullest that way.

All we need is to be a little more conscious and alert in our every action and sometimes even our reactions. So many times, we do things in reflex and hurt our loved one’s which we regret for the rest of our lives ๐Ÿ˜ฆ This way, we will easily overcome all such situations and avoid heart aches for our loved ones, Wow, great deal, isnt’ it and in the bargain, we will earn love, respect and great relationships ๐Ÿ™‚

I know you want to say, what if the other side does not reciprocate?

Well, that will happen for a while but do you know that like Smile, good deeds are also contagious? They actually are…. so you keep doing good and sooner or later, you will acknowledge things changing for good!

To conclude: Either don’t make a promise but if you do, have the courage to deliver it with full commitment, give your 100% to every relationship and then see the great results. Hope you are now inspired to mend some strained relations, way to go my friend, but please don’t do it with expectations of instant changes and reciprocation, cause that will hurt you! But gradually with time, things will change for better, I promise! Please remember, Rome was not built in a day, was it?

Annie’s dilemma

Annie’s hands were shaking and she was in a dilemma that if she was doing the right thing by signing on the dotted line…….

Wondering what was Annie going through?

Two days from the current scenario, Annie was a happy go lucky soul, truly, madly and deeply in love with her family. She only wanted love from everyone and only gave out blessings and wishes in return. Throughout her life, she stood up for the right and lawful deeds and had the most positive persona….

Are you also thinking, What is it that she is not so sure of! Whatโ€™s bothering her?

Her life companion, her best friend of last 30 years, her husband has been declared brain dead after an accident and now the doctors are talking to her to sign on the donation form, so they can use his organs, while they still can ๐Ÿ˜• She knows thatโ€™s what her husband Peter would have wanted to do and that was the right call medically, but….. itโ€™s so hard to take that decision for your loved ones, isn’t it!

Generally, Annie has been strong, a pillar of strength for her family but in this moment, she felt jitters and any one would, actually!

I have recently learnt that only a person who is declared brain dead can donate their organs….Yes and globally less than 2% of the population gets into that scenario!

Annie spoke to the doctors multiple times, to confirm and reconfirm of any chances of Peterโ€™s recovery but alas, there were none ๐Ÿ˜ŸStanding by her values, her strong persona, her love for Peter and what Peter had occasionally conveyed through his casual conversationsAnnie finally did sign the form and gave the Gift of Life to not just one but almost 4 people. Surprised….. yes, Peterโ€™s two kidneys, liver and eyes were donated!

Very few blessed souls get to donate lives even before they depart on their eternal journey and Peter was indeed a special soul – who loved and cared every relationship!

I know this is very intense….but believe me it may help someone someday!

Talk to your loved ones about this matter…. tell them what would you want them to do if such a scenario arises ever, God forbid. This will help them to decide in those difficult times and they will not have to face that dilemma like Annie!

To look at this scenario from another perspective, I request you to read my earlier blog, Poor Alex between Sobs and Smiles!

To conclude: Please remember that communicating tough matters, sometimes, makes life easier, not just for you but more importantly for your loved ones. We donโ€™t know what and how things will be but what is more precious and noble than โ€œGifting a Lifeโ€ ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป if we get a chance, isn’t it! Sorry for bringing up such an intense topic but imagine, if everyone thinks this way, you may also get help when you need it! Who knows, which side we will be when? ( I mean, Giver or Receiver)……

Cheer up, my friend….. Real Life is indeed in Giving, isn’t it ๐Ÿ™‚

Open book exam!

In current COVID times, so many schools and universities are struggling with this concept of ” Open Book exam!”

They want to continue the academic sessions forward but I presume they are still not confident about efficient ways to evaluate the students on the basis of their real caliber and not on the basis of the resources they have available to refer or in crude language, their capability to cheat/copy!

Do you remember those class tests in school, when the teacher stepped out for an emergency for 2 minutes and the entire class had a 10/10 on those tests ๐Ÿ™‚ It used to be so much fun and no one hesitated in sharing their answers…. so innocent and pure that feeling used to be, isn’t it!

Where am I going with this…… well, what better “Open Book exam”, than our Life!

Everything is right here in front of us, we have all the resources available, we also clearly know ‘what is right’ and ‘what is wrong’. To top it all, we have examples to show, how bad choices can lead to a disaster and how a small sensible influence can help many in leading a successful and happy life! But…do we ?

In the above class test example, imagine if the whole class copied the essay on “My Father” and did not change the name of their Father in the text, the entire class will have the same Father ๐Ÿ™‚ and the teacher would know ๐Ÿ˜‰ Hence proved that ‘One needs to apply intelligence in cheating/copying’ too!

Anyways, everyone’s life is unique, so it can’t be a Copy/Paste kind of scenario in how we deal with things….We need to apply our intelligence to Observe, Introspect and Reflect correctly!

We can crack this exam of Life, if we learn to Observe our surroundings, including the people – for all the good and the bad that is happening around us; it will help us being alert & vigilant of what to imbibe and what to avoid. Constant Introspection will help us in keeping a check on our behaviour and gradually we will improve, one step at a time; last but not the least, we need to be open and vocal with our loved ones while Reflecting on our learnings; sometimes a small chat can motivate someone enormously & many a times, a child can teach us a life lesson that a great book may fail to ๐Ÿ™‚ Try it!

To conclude: Consider your life as an exam and every phase as a chapter…. complete the learning and move on. Be open to getting influenced and inspired by the great things that happen around you and motivate yourself to imbibe the key learnings, rather than reinventing the wheel for every little activity all over again. If you have got a great learning, do share for the benefit of others and always keep your mind and heart open to welcome, good thoughts that can create positivity and happiness, not only for you but for everyone else too! Rock the Exam of Life, my friend ๐Ÿ™‚

Oh, that feeling!

Almost every evening Tom and Suzie have the same conversation, since this lockdown started…..the only difference is, some days it is Tom who starts and other days its Suzie!

  • I don’t think I am feeling up to it today!
  • I actually didn’t sleep well last night, don’t think I have the energy!
  • Can we skip it today, please
  • I am feeling drained already, forget it

Wondering, what are they trying to dodge?

Well, its their daily workout regime that they have started online ๐Ÿ™‚

Depending on who is not in the mood among Tom and Suzie, the other one pushes and they both end up doing their workouts regularly five to six days a week!

Ask them at the end of the session, and they can’t help but say – “Oh, what a feeling!”

Though, physically, their bodies are all full of sweat, heart is pumping so rapidly, they feel exhausted but mentally, they feel victorious and so thankful that they did the right thing ๐Ÿ™‚

This is just a very small example, but believe me, in life, we use the same dodging to get away from every little challenge that we tend to face in our lives.

Though, we know that the outcome of accepting those challenges would give us that feeling of victory, that sense of achievement and we will end up saying – “Oh, what a feeling!”, but just because it is beyond our comfort zone, we tend to convince ourselves mentally with numerous reasons for not doing it! Do you agree?

Like Tom and Suzie, who shared their feelings and emotions and helped and pushed each other…… Do you share what you feel with your loved ones?

If you do, you are so damn lucky my friend :). And if you don’t, I urge you my friend, to start sharing what you feel and you may be able to achieve much more in your life with this little change. May be its that little push from a loved one, that can help you explore a talent, a passion, a quality that you possess within!

Life is not a bed of roses and indeed, we don’t want it to be either ๐Ÿ™‚ . You may like to read my earlier blog Thank God life is not a “bed of roses”!)

To conclude: Reach out to your loved ones and help them push to achieve their limits. They may complain initially but in the end, they will be so thankful to you for your love and support. Also, let your guard down and receive help when offered by your friends and family and cherish every moment, when you end up saying, “Oh, what a feeling!” ๐Ÿ™‚

Sleep deprived Anna!

My colleague & friend, Anna, is always sleep deprived and forever complaining. Last month, when she shifted to her new apartment, guess what did I gift her? Blackout Curtains ๐Ÿ™‚ and you know what, she is eternally grateful beyond words!

You may laugh but its true……its been on numerous occasions that I had to deal with grumpy Anna every Monday morning, because tiny rays of light in her room post dawn won’t let her enjoy her precious weekend sleep!

Those who have insomnia or bad sleeping patterns can understand and empathize with Anna’s pain, but for others, it is no big deal, isn’t it! In a dark room, one ray of light can bother someone so much! Wondering, where I am going with this ๐Ÿ™‚

Okay, think about this….If ”Light” is absence of ”Darkness”, then,

ABSENCE OF WHAT’? IS ”LIFE”

If we can find an answer to that, it may help us live a Fulfilling Life…Lets try!

IS ABSENCE OF “DEATH” IS “LIFE”?

Oh my God, it is getting too intense! Wait a moment….to put it simply, ask yourself these simple questions:

  • Do you actually celebrate Life everyday because you are not Dead?
  • Do you live Life fully like it is a “Gift”?
  • Do you enjoy the “Present”, that you have now, called Life?

I promise, just answering these simple questions to ourselves, every morning and night, will help us transform our lives for good, try it!

Those rays that bothered Anna symbolize the difficulties that we face in our dark room of Life and it is us who need to decide if we wish to crib like Anna and waste our beautiful life or put out our blackout curtains, with the help of our family and friends and enjoy this gift of life, till we have it!

Sometimes, no actually, most of the times, Complicated problems have a very simple solution, Do you agree?

Imagine how many more years would she have been sleep deprived if she hadn’t expressed her concerns to me, as a friend and hadn’t received the gift that helped her sleep better!

This is just a small example to help us think that we always have options and most of the times, we remain unaware. Speak up, reach out, discuss your problems, your feelings, your concerns with your friends and family and trust me, they may have a very simple solution to a problem that you think is most difficult!

To conclude: Look around and see if any of your friends need help, an ear to talk, a heart to listen….help them. If you are the one seeking help, my friend, then, please don’t hesitate, You are Alive, till you are not Dead and believe me, no one will judge you for anything and even if they do, let them! Life is much more precious than someone’s few nasty thoughts, isn’t it! Now draw those Blackout curtains to negativity and enjoy Life. Do remember, We always Sulk alone & Enjoy together ๐Ÿ™‚

Create your website at WordPress.com
Get started