Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Be yourself; Everyone else is already taken.— Oscar Wilde.
This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this new blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
My childhood friend, Ana had to take an off for her office today, you know why?
Not because she had to appear for an interview and also not to take care of off her son, Jack….. it was because recently her Mom, Lucy, has been missing out on her medicines and now Ana, during her day today will organize her medications in proper boxes as per Lucy’s daily dosage, so there is minimal chance of a miss out! Sounds familiar?
Well, ever since I was a child I have seen Lucy being that strong woman who did everything to perfection, and by everything I literally mean everything! Since a few years back when Jack was born, though she had lost much of her physical strength but she was still high in her spirits and now🙁 she needs to be reminded and coaxed to have her medicines on time, what a pity! 🙁 But that’s the way life is!
Life really comes full circle!
Suddenly, your Parents become almost like your children who need care, attention and love like a little baby.
If you think your parents need that from you, I urge you to be there for them now while you have this opportunity of being with them! This is the least we can do, for the amount of sacrifices they have done for us, almost their entire life, isn’t it!
There may be moments when you have to be a little stern with them when it comes to their diet, physical activity, sleeping pattern, medications, etc. almost like how they used to be with us when we were kids, isn’t it! Well, don’t be too harsh and strict with them please. Though they may behave like babies but they deserve your 100% love, affection, empathy and attention. Please remember, they stood by you in numerous memorable moments of your life, right from your first step to your first exam and the list can be endless here….your every success, every failure, every agony, every joy…..Dear, its your time now!
You must have heard the saying: “ Why cry over spilt milk!” Have you?
There will be no point in repenting later, my friend. Love them for what they are and do it now, because whatever you are today are only because of their love, their sacrifices and their values, isn’t it!
To conclude: The only debt we can never repay in our lives is towards our parents. It’s okay, if you have to remind them or even politely scold them for their medicines, their lifestyle, their exercise, etc. but always love them and respect them. Parents are a blessing to have in your life and it is indeed their love and blessings that has given us our life and the happiness that we so dearly enjoy and cherish today! Please remember, LIFE DOES COME FULL CIRCLE, so whatever we do, our children are watching us and learning what they are expected to do when we get old 😉
Every morning when Alex goes to work, Suzie bids him farewell by saying:
Be careful and Be safe my love!
No, this is not a COVID 19 scenario that I am talking about, this was her every day thing since she got married. Wondering why would she tell Alex to be careful and safe each single day!!!!
Well initially Alex wondered it too and so he asked Suzie, why she said what she said to him every single day!
Any guesses, what did Suzie say?
“ I remind you to be careful so that you don’t loose control of yourself and give agony to someone in the bargain…. be mindful of being careful. If we can’t spread happiness then we have no right to add sorrow to other people’s lives, isn’t it! Secondly, by telling you be safe, every day, I try and remind you that I love you and want to see you return Hale and Hearty back to me every single day ❤️. Also, I want you to be safe from bringing any negative energy or thoughts back home! If you can promise me to be careful and safe, trust me, that our house will always be full of happiness and positivity 🙂 !”
Wow, isn’t that an amazing explanation, I love it👍🏻 Reminding ourselves each single day that every time we step out, we have to take care of ourselves not only externally but internally as well!
Have you noticed that in the current scenario, we are constantly checking with our extended family members , friends and even writing to our colleagues and clients and customers to be safe, isn’t it!
Hope we can continue to remind atleast our friends and loved ones, just like Suzie, to keep being careful and safe, not only for their external health but for their internal well being every single day, going forward…. Do you agree?
We all know it but it’s these reminders that help us to keep these thoughts as priorities, right on top of our mind; especially when they are shared by our loved ones!
To conclude: This global lockdown phase has come in our lives to teach us a collective lesson and the sooner we will learn, the faster will be the recovery. Let’s try together to make our World a better, happier and a more compassionate place to be…. Are you with me? Do remember to remind your loved ones to be careful and safe, every single day!
Parents, Spouses, Friends, Colleagues……everyone seems to struggle with this one!
Oh! S/he will never understands me!
We always have our point of view, our thoughts, our beliefs and not to miss, our very own expectations and ironically, we have a lot of expectations from our children, our better halves, our friends and colleagues to understand all of these, even without us saying it! Do you agree?
Okay, to bring things to better perspective…. let’s try this little exercise!
Stop, Don’t go!
You can read this simple sentence in so many ways and everyone can have a totally different version of what’s the message being conveyed from the tone, body language, pitch, etc., isn’t it!
The point I am trying to make is that sometimes, no everytime, our Expectations and Perceptions are different than others.
Then, why can’t we just say what we are expecting from the other person, rather than waiting for it to come from them and keep sulking over it 😦
Imagine a loving couple with different ways of expression, which is the case 99% of the times. I can bet that they will be unhappy their whole life; as the wife will keep expecting for the hubby to express and the hubby on the other hand will also be expecting for the wife to understand his love from his subtle actions as he does not believe in expressing with words….
Now, tell me is it absence of love or just different mindsets which is to be blamed. Actually, no one is wrong in this scenario but they are not happy either 😦 Is this agony really worth it?
Trust me, most of time it is indeed just poor communication that can break relationships.
Please remember my friend, when you love them, be it your parents, spouse, friends, and sometimes close colleagues as well…. then just say it what you want from them. It will help bring in a lot of satisfaction, happiness, contentment and team spirit in a relationship, Do you agree?
To conclude: Life is too short to complain, dear! Express yourself, don’t wait for your loved one to understand on their own, cause if its late, one will have to live with that gap / guilt for the rest of their lives 😦 Don’t sulk, don’t complain, if they don’t understand what you want from them…….JUST SAY IT! They may not agree or obey in one go but if they love you, trust me, they will try 🙂
Who had thought about this scenario few months down the line!
Today we are in a state of almost a Global Lockdown, which is something that was beyond even our imagination in the beginning of 2020, isn’t it?
It is kind of an Unexpected Pause; which has come to us almost forcibly! 😦
I may not be wrong in saying that no one alive, I presume, has witnessed something that is so pandemic, so immense and so fatal that is spread across the globe.🙁
Thinking that I am also sharing the same information like everyone else!
Well, my friend, I want you to recall that on a personal level, a few wishes and/or complaints that many of us usually regularly iterate:
These and many many more….. the list can be endless !
Now, yes, Now, we have the Time, that we longed for, forever, to complete most of our wishes. Most of it is actually possible with the excellent technology support available with us. Imagine if we did not have the Internet, Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc. Be grateful for these facilities too 🙏🏻
It’s totally up to us that we consider this phase as a “Punishment”or a “Blessing”
That day I read somewhere, “Temples are shut down for people but God is in the hospitals in the form of Doctors, Nurses and other Support services, helping to save lives”! Such a positive and humble thought, isn’t it! Let us all bow in gratitude for all these humans, who are there for our safety! Indebted 🙏🏻
Coming to the point I wish to make….
While we were so busy in our lives, we forgot about the Superpower, the Almighty altogether and the biggest take away or Reflection that shines out for all of us in this phase is our understanding and acceptance of the divine power that is beyond science and technology. Do you agree?
Don’t complain dear! Just look around, your being home is indeed bringing many smiles, provided you yourself don’t sulk. Put some effort, be alert and spread positive vibes, dance together to your favorite music, learn a new skill online, click lovely pictures (from your balcony…. no stepping out).
Please remember, “How we use this phase is totally our choice“!
While nature is in the Reboot phase, please remember to be grateful to that Power within your own heart and together we will be able to come out stronger, brighter and more compassionate with better air quality, lesser fights and indeed a better global environment 😊
To conclude: When we sleep it’s night but within hours the Sun shines again, isn’t it! “This too shall pass!” Be strong and be safe, my friend 🤗 Use the Pause phase wisely, introspect and reflect on the blessings and let nature Reboot while we patiently learn our lessons to be kinder, happier and wiser in the way we use our resources going forward. Sharing my Prayers, Gratitude and Hope for everyone’s safety 🙏🏻
Till last month, I didn’t realize how much I loved my humble cup of tea! I have been drinking tea for years and never realized the importance it had in my life. Only now, when my doctor told me to stop having regular tea with milk to cure my cough, that’s when I realized how much I depended on my little cup of joy! Its not been easy, trust me!
Have you noticed that sometimes, no actually all the time, we depend on so many little things in our life but you know what, unfortunately we tend to take them for granted till they are accessible! Do you agree?
Its only the absence of these things, that makes us realize their real importance! Life goes on with little adjustments with respect to things. Wondering where I am going with this……
Things can be replaced with other things
Like now I have started having some clear soup/ green tea every morning to replace my cup of tea with milk! Took me a few days of discomfort but I am fine now!
What about the people we depend on in our lives? Can they be replaced too?
Unfortunately, most of them cannot be replaced my friend!
We need to be very careful while we cherish this gift of God bestowed on us. Mind you, whenever we hurt someone emotionally or say harsh things to them, especially to our parents, spouses, children, etc., we need to understand that this is a mutual relationship. Like we have expectations from them, they do have some dependencies, some expectations from us, isn’t it!
Didn’t include friends in this list, as, though limited but we still have a choice who we become friends with and we can continue or restrain from a friendship.
But relations like parents and children, and don’t mind if I add spouses here as well, as believe it or not, these choices are beyond our control and are part of the God’s Masterplan 🙂
The point I wish to make here, is that we need to learn to be mutually respectful than being dominant in our relationships, be it with our parents, our children and also with our respective spouses as well, as we equally depend on them as much as they do on us! Do you agree!
To conclude: We all need to learn to value the gifts bestowed upon us by the Almighty and respect, love and cherish these gifts while we still have them! Please remember, things can be replaced in life but our loved ones are there in our life for a specified time and how much that time is, no one knows! So, be loving, talk positive and embrace the nuances of life with a smile today and now, cause, tomorrow will come tomorrow!
It was 7.30 pm and little Tina was already ready to sleep. Alex took her in his arms and was slowly patting her back, so she could dose off to sleep soon. Just when Tina was almost falling asleep around 7.50 pm or so… Suzie’s phone rang….She looked at the flashing screen and quickly put the phone on silent and then showed it to Alex too…..she didn’t want mission sleep to fail!
All those who are dealing with little children can relate to the pain and effort it takes to accomplish this project every day, isn’t it!
It was Suzie’s Dad, Tom on the phone and whenever it was a FaceTime call, it meant that he wanted to see little Tina and have a chit chat with her. Both Suzie and Alex looked at each other as they did not want to disappoint Tom but waking up Tina meant that she will be cranky and with this little power nap, their evening/night will be totally ruined 😦
What do you think they would have done?
Logically, you would say that Suzie should speak to Tom and promise him that they will connect tomorrow and make him speak with Tina, right!! Well, Alex and Suzie as parents wanted to do exactly that but do you know what they finally did?
They woke up Tina and made her speak to Tom, till the time Tom was satisfied and himself volunteered to keep the phone down after the loving byes and blessings! Astonished at Alex and Suzie’s decision, are you?
As expected, Tina did trouble them a lot that night as after speaking to her Grandfather, she was energized and fresh and that little power nap she took also added to the energy! Alex and Suzie finally had to take Tina out for a car ride at 10 pm, as that was the last resort they used when every other solution of making Tina sleep failed!
The next morning, Suzie’s phone rang again and this time again, it was Tom’s number flashing but it was not a FaceTime call. She quickly picked up the phone and what she heard broke her down! It was her Aunt Maggie on the line who informed Suzie that Tom passed away peacefully….. what Aunt Maggie said before ending the call astonished her the most……
“Tom was so thankful to both of you to have woken Tina up last night to make her speak to him for one last time, he went very peacefully with a broad smile on his face and fully contented with the love and values he has given you!”
Suzie ran to Alex and hugged him and cried a lot while sharing the news but somewhere deep down she was so happy for their act last night which looked crazy to most of the parents at the look of it but now Do you understand why they did what they did?
Friends, for the little discomfort that we may get for any act, if it can bring a smile on someone’s face, then its totally worth all the effort, believe me! We always need to remind ourselves that:
Tomorrow is not guaranteed!
In this scenario, one wise decision has led to so many good memories not only for Tina but for Suzie and Alex too which they will cherish forever! Also, there are no regrets as they did go against logic and did not wait for Tomorrow! Imagine if they had decided otherwise, what agony Tom would have gone through and would Suzie & Alex be able to forgive themselves…. I assume not! Do you agree?
Especially in today’s times when families are getting more and more global and distances are increasing each day, we all should be so thankful for the technology that has given us enough and more means to still remain connected to our roots, our family, our loved ones!
Next time when your phone rings, please be mindful in picking up those calls every time, irrespective of the timezone, discomfort, your preoccupations, etc. etc. , because not every time there is tomorrow and sometimes Now is the only right time, though it may not logically sound right!
To conclude: For the elderly in our families, it is our time which is their biggest gift! Talk to them through Video chats, if you are not living with them, share your happy and sad moments with them, make them feel a part of your life! This is indeed a gift that they want from you, not the expensive watch that you are planning to buy for your Grandfather for his 75th Birthday, trust me! Celebrate every small moment while you can, instead of waiting for bigger milestones as we don’t know TOMORROW….do we?
Recently in a conversation I learnt this interesting thing, that a daughter-in-law is also addressed as “DIL” in the modern lingo….. Believe it or not, “DIL” in Hindi language literally means “Heart “❤️
Not sure how many of you have a cherished relationship with your so called in-laws 🙂
Tell me something, are only blood relations for real?
Or are those relations that you build and cherish with your heart and soul irrespective of how you are related, are the real relations….What do you think?
I say yes to all these and numerous other such scenarios, as I truly believe in the power of love and acceptance. Once you accept a relationship and get committed fully to it, then you will end up creating a bond, which undoubtedly will be stronger and could sometimes get even much deeper than the ones created by blood relations.
Personally, I can vouch that such relationships do exist and trust me from my own journey so far, I have been a loved D-I-L and each moment I spent with my Father-in-law while I had him around was priceless and the memories he has given me will be cherished for the rest of my life!
He was my Hero and I was and will remain his biggest fan 🙂 I miss him so much 😦
In any relationship, especially other than the blood relations, like relations between husband and wife, in-laws or between friends/ partners, it is indeed a journey where one needs to move beyond thinking about…..
I, Me and Myself
and start thinking about
We, Us and Ours…
Only and only then can you think of building a great relationship, otherwise it’s for show only and not a real relation. Do you agree? You may like to read my earlier blog Two little hands go…clap, clap, clap!
Its important to get into team spirit and learn to empathize and sympathize, whatever is required to deliver love, respect, compassion and smiles at all times 🙂 Isn’t that a great scenario to explore in all our relationships?
To conclude: Every relationship can be made beautiful provided it is created with love and respect and cherished with smiles and understanding. I urge you to give love and please remember to be open in your approach and perspective, as you never know how God is sending his blessings and love to you, sometimes from those where you least expect…. the only and only condition is that your love should be pure, unconditional and unbiased 😊 and the return is 100% guaranteed!
Alex was sitting in a corner, silently sobbing all by himself but today after 10 years of long wait, there was also a little smile on his lips and a sense of gratitude in every tear he was shedding!
Wondering the connection between Sobs and Smiles?
Well, Alex was sitting in the ICU waiting area of the hospital where his ailing wife Suzie, was undergoing a Liver transplant…..as the hospital finally found a matching donor for her after an extensive and exhausting wait of 10 long years 😦
Owing to confidentiality, he does not know which blessed soul gave Suzie this “Gift of Life” but silently in his heart he is conveying his thanks to the Almighty, to this sacred soul and also to the family who took this tough call!
Soon, Suzie will be able to live a normal life and will also be able to take care of her 11 year old daughter, Tina…. who has lived almost all her childhood without a mother’s care!
Thinking about this scenario, don’t you agree that this “Gift of Life” has saved not only the recipient’s life but has given a new lease of hope to an entire family!
Like me are you also thinking and blessing the donor in your heart…. well, that’s so kind of you but more important is our action, my friend towards saving more lives while we can!
I urge each one of you to think about this scenario and approach the closest hospital or get online to explore the options of volunteering for this cause and fill out the details while we are still hale and hearty….because we will not know when the time will come. This little effort of ours can help save a few lives…..
We don’t know our future, do we?
Very few blessed souls get this opportunity of donating this “Gift of Life”!
But trust me, with this formality, we make it easier for our grieving families! Whenever a moment like this will come, our loved one’s will go through a lot of physical as well as emotional trauma. By this act of volunteering, we are in a way helping our loved ones who will have to take these tough call on our behalf, if need be!
Though the topic is intense but believe me my friend, these are the values we wish to leave for our coming generations, isn’t it! What better way of teaching them a lesson of compassion?
To conclude: We all know the ultimate truth of life and this choice is positively worth a thought! If our little act can bring smiles even after we are gone, help our grieving loved ones take tough decisions and give satisfaction to one and all, isn’t that the Karma that we wish to accumulate in our Good deeds bucket? Aiming at “Zero” – a state of absolute balance! Decision is obviously yours but trust me, we can be on either side of the table my friend, please remember that!
Deep in our hearts, we always know what we are doing (the good, bad and ugly) but on the outside, we can remain in a ‘state of denial’ forever……. can you relate?
Especially for the acts when we try to do selfish things that may benefit us more or cause (some) harm to others (degree may vary)….. your heart will tell you a clear direction!
Familiar with these phrases that your heart screams within when you take some selfish decisions-
But…….what do we do?
We remain in a state of denial, as if we did not hear what was said, even though the voice is screaming loudly inside, we tend to stay unaffected and still go ahead and take those decisions which are ideally against our own values and principles!
Our inner voice is governed by what we are made of including our values and that is why, it screams when we don’t stand by it! Do you agree?
Trust me, we accept it or not, but we do get our answers, the outcome of our every act, loud and clear, even before we do it!
The Power resides within us and it always guides us to take the right step!
Taking selfish decisions may be good for us in the short term but in the long run, please remember that one needs to pay for one’s deeds, good as well as bad! You may also like to read my earlier blog Aiming at “Zero” – a state of absolute balance!
In life, we always get choices and the guidance too, but what we choose reflects our inner character, our values and what we are truly made of!
Doing the right thing and not making selfish choices gives us that awesome feeling of satisfaction, contentment, lots of positivity and happiness, which actually is our earned treasure 🙂
To conclude: Others remember us in their hearts for both reasons, for love and respect and equally for hatred! By being a little alert in our deeds, we can benefit people around us and create happiness and smiles and no more heart-burns for them or for us! Isn’t that on top of our wishlist always? Additionally, we can feel contented & happy within and on top of that, feel proud of ourselves by doing the right thing! That’s like a little icing on the cake 🙂
Alex had his first interview scheduled next morning and he was not checking Google nor the Company website; neither was he busy reading his notes or anything. Actually, he was doing nothing to prepare for the same, the only thing he was indulging in was “Worrying”….. you think that would help?
Well, if worrying helped, then, none of us would have any problem, because, worrying is what we do the most of the times, Don’t we?
Keeping yourself outside of any situation, think for a moment and you will realize that worrying has not added any value to the whole deal, it has only added stress, agony, anxiety and further confusion to the scenario which could be easily avoided! Wondering, why do we do it then!
The first answer is…..that as humans, it is very easy and natural to Worry!
When we worry, we attract a lot of Negativity and our imagination builds up images of all the misfortunes, unhappiness adding to our already existing sorrow, grief and anxious state of mind.
Does worrying help? Of course not, it just adds further fuel to the already lit fire!
Can we do anything about it? Yes, the solution is very simple!
Just do not let the negativity surround you in any situation. Learn to Analyze and Introspect any situation, keeping yourself out and think practically and most probably, the solution will be in your sight within no time.
Coming back to Alex, if he had done his basics revision, knowledge check about the Company and other related preparation, he would have been more at ease! Isn’t it!
Well, our problems are unique and we and only we know what works best to find the solutions we seek. It could be a Checklist for few, a Discussion session for others, Drawing the situation on a board could be another choice, etc. etc. The ways could be very different but the outcome will be a Workable Solution to your problem! What’s the harm in trying?
Easier said than done, that’s what you are thinking right! I know, it indeed is, but it is You my friend, who can help Yourself. No one will come from outside to make your journey smooth, it is your life, your choices and remember,
“As you sow, so shall you reap.”
Together, we can inspire each other to sow the right seeds for a great future crop, which is full of love, respect, positivity, happiness minus the worrying! Are you with me?
To conclude: If we can understand this fact that Worrying is nothing but a waste of time and consumes most of our energy, we can be more alert in making our choices and restrain from this wasteful effort! The moment we start being practical, the solutions will start showing up, trust me, because now we are in a more constructive mind and have a positive approach towards things and towards life at large. Try it, as your worrying is anyways not helping, I am pretty sure of that! Waiting to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below….