I am babysitting for Tina today as Susan needed to attend something important at office. Before leaving, Susan requested me to remind Tina to finish her essay and then do self-check for the same.

I wondered if I had heard Susan correctly, so I just reconfirmed – you mean I should check it once she’s done? Susan reiterated – No, there is no need…let her check it herself for now and I can review it tomorrow. Susan also mentioned that Tina hates self-checking but it is important for her that she notices her own mistakes rather than me telling her! This way the chance of her repeating the same mistake just reduces drastically. So by the time she gives me her homework for checking – she has done most of her improvisations already.

OMG, this was deep stuff from a mother, said in such a cool way. I was awestruck with Susan’s answer.

I started pondering deeper on this idea. In Life, we crave for validation from others at all times because right from our childhood, we have been taught to give our answer sheet for correction to our teacher and/or Mom whoever is tutoring us. We wait for that pat-on-the-back, appreciation or that scolding – to feel happy, improve or do-over again respectively, depending on the quality of work we have submitted and validated by the checking authority.

Somehow, this has got ingrained in us so deeply that even when we grow up – we still keep looking for that validation all the time – be it from our Manager, our friends, colleagues, spouse, children, partner, etc. Mind you, we always want someone else to give us that appreciation, that thumbs up, that pat-on-the-back…

During the day when Tina did finish her essay- she brought it to me, for of course validation but as I was told by Susan, I told her to do self-checking first. My little Tina protested first – why do I have to read it again; I hate it; can’t you check it please…but then she read it again. I noticed her a few times with her tongue out, looking at her own silly mistakes while using the eraser and pencil for corrections.

Observing her, just proved this point completely for me 🙂

Most of the time we are looking out for positive validation and we know that someone we love will be able to give that to us. Mind you, whenever we come across someone who is a little extra analytical including our own self-consciousness, we tend to avoid them for any kind of checking…do you agree?

If you reflect, you know that whatever we do, our inner voice already validates it as per our own values and our standards; but most of the times. we just ignore that voice, as we know our mistakes and especially the repeating trends, just like Tina and thus, we hate to do self scoring for our own actions and deeds. We are always looking out for someone else to validate whatever we are pretending to be doing and wish to remain happy in that false bubble.

Please remember we are our best judge and whatever we decide and do, should be validated by our inner voice and then, there will be no pretention. The success you achieve will feel real and owned; not just perceived success.

Believe in your worth my friend and start self-checking – let us become like little Tina in our hearts and start fresh. Trust me, the shine I saw in Tina’s eyes when she handed me her work after her self-check – priceless; this time she knew she had done well!